I met a guy on the weekend. He is Australian but currently living in the UK and was in Melbourne for only a week (he works for an international law firm). We had great sex (it was an SOP venue - I have needs alright!!) and then a good post coital chat - the icing on the cake for me. He asked if I wanted his number and perhaps we could get together again during the week. Why not I thought. I knew it was going to have a definite end, so I wouldn't get trapped by the 'Is this going to go anywhere?' question. It would be pure fun. So we swap numbers. I get a text from him late the next afternoon, asking if I'm doing anything that evening. So I end up spending Sunday night at the Grand Hyatt in Melbourne, having breakfast there the following morning! It was a beautiful night. He was a beautiful man, both on the inside and the outside. I couldn't help thinking where this might go if he wasn't going back to the other side of the world in 7 days. I had to keep doing a fair bit of self talk to put this in perspective - it was just about fun for a week. He wasn't helping mind you, talking about maintaining contact even when he went back to the UK. Anyway, we made tentative plans for further catch ups. I was out to dinner with friends on Monday night. I rang him after I got back and got his message bank. The next morning I got a text from him saying he was in Perth and would be there for a couple of days before going home via Singapore. I was gutted! Now I don't understand the high flying nature of international law, but something of great legal importance obviously required a change in itinerary. I'm pissed off with myself that I feel so gutted. I kid myself that I had a week's timeframe in mind and I wouldn't have felt that way after a week, but because it was 48 hours it took me by surprise. So why do I feel this way? I reckon the answer is around ultimately wanting something lasting, I want something to build on, a relationship. Hmmm, I think I've been doing the 'It'll happen when I least expect it' for too long, maybe I need to be more proactive. Many of my one, two or three night stands are lots of fun and do have an emotional element to them, but I want more!!!
3 comments:
Great post mate. This used to happen to me all the time when I travelled. I would meet amazing guys and fall in love with them in 48 hours. I'm sorry you feel "gutted." The good news is that there are GOOD guys out there and that you are able to "fall" for people. Now..you just have to find a local boy, who lives in your area!
I suffer from the "I want more" feelings too sometimes. But I'm also a firm believer of if it's going to happen it'll just happen. It's just crap when I think it's happening and the other person doesn't.
I hear you loud and clear Campbell. And I'm with Muz as well - it's been a more recent realization for me (see my recent blog) - that it is just going to happen. Obviously, a Holiday romance (which you've effectively had) has a limited shelf life and if you have no intention of moving to the UK and he has no intention of moving back to Aus, then that's it. It's just a bit of fun (and sounds like you did enjoy yourself). I know from experience, feeling more than the other person does, and wanting more than is realistic - it aint easy. The dynamics of attraction baffle me sometimes!
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