I'm Pissed Off!!!!!!

I live in a block of flats where we don't have any personal outside area. All the external area is communal. This is the main aspect I dislike about living here. I like the area and I like the size of the flat's rooms (it doesn't quite fit in to apartment title!). I miss having my own garden to potter in. I like everything else about it (except of course the way people handle their rubbish and recycling - why can't people be as perfect as me?!) So I have a small number of largish pots on the front communal verandah. I did have something small stolen when I first moved here a few years ago, but nothing since then.
I've been nurturing a fuchsia that I've grown from a cutting into a standard specimen. I have to admit to being rather proud of it. Well I noticed this morning that it was gone!! That and a pot of aloe vera that I also had. Now the fuchsia was not something you could pick up with one hand and walk nonchalantly off with. It was in a fairly large pot and was becoming a reasonable size tree (not the one pictured - mine was a pale pink and white one).
I could start again with another one, they're easy enough to grow from a cutting - but why? It is not only the loss of time and dedication in getting it to the shape it was, but there is the practicality of the pot and potting mix which I don't feel like risking again.
It's a bugger. I just hope it's gone to a home where it will be cared for and appreciated. One day, I'll have my own little plot of land again.

Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave...

I’m a simple man who just wants a simple life. So why is this happening to me??!?!!
Update on MrC&C.
We had dinner last night after yoga. A very pleasant chat, easy
communication….but no particular spark….nothing that says to me this is
going to be something long term….but an enjoyable, relaxed evening.

We finish up around 10pm and I’m home 20-30 mins
later. At about 10.38 (remember I can be anal!) I receive a text from FB
‘Hi Hows it going?’ Now he would never normally initiate anything so
late, so I put 2 & 2 together – thinking I’ve got 4. I assume he and MrC&C have been talking since we left each other and he knows where I’ve
been. So I text back with the supposedly quizzical ‘How did you know I
would still be up?’ ‘Lucky guess’ is his response! Having not felt it
was appropriate to ask MrC&C how he knows FB, I decided to ask FB, who responds ‘Out and about’, which is what I had guessed anyway.
This morning (hope you are keeping up) I receive a text around 7.30 from MrC&C.
‘Is it convenient for you to give me a quick ring? I need to talk with
you’. Being the compliant lad that I am, I do so. MrC&C wanted to talk to me about FB whom he tells me he’s ‘having some fun with’, but he is finding it a little tiresome as he describes FB as quite jealous of him in general, but particularly with me! When MrC&C got back to the car last night there were six messages from FB! He decided to ring him and only felt like telling him he had dinner with a friend, rather than stating it was me. He doesn’t want to be dictated by FB as to who he is able to speak with. Fair enough.
So this is where my maths didn’t quite add up! FB didn’t actually know we had been together, but I affirmed it! (I do hope you’re still with me)
So I thought I had better mention this to MrC&C. I think from what MrC&C has said, FB has not gone into detail about our relationship, but if he has half a brain he will have guessed.
My initial thoughts were that FB has lost the plot.....but then I think, well I know FB better than I know MrC&C (which I will admit, isn't saying much!) There's part of me that's wondering if MrC&C is being above board in all of this, a few things not quite adding up that he has said.
All of this is doing damage to my cerebral organ, so I think I need to stop
analysing it and just be circumspect in my dealings with both of these
gentlemen.

I've never really seen myself as Soap Opera material before.

You Analyse Things Too Much Dad....

.....so my son tells me. He knows his old man! This comment came last night whilst watching an ad on TV here in Melbourne that I think is hilarious. It's advertising some microwavable soup that takes 2 minutes to heat. The ad starts with two people just finishing having sex. He rolls off her with that deeply satisfying sigh and you know he'll be asleep in a few seconds. She gets up, walks to the kitchen just as the microwave clock hits two minutes. She takes the soup out to start eating it. The inference being of course, that she put it in there and set the timer before they commenced their coital activities. My analysis came when I commented on the fact that all microwave timer clocks count down, not up, so really what you would have seen is the 3, 2, 1....rather than the 1:58. 1:59, 2:00. However it wouldn't have been obvious that the soup had only been in the microwave for two minutes. That's what prompted son and heir's declaration!
At the moment I'm spending too much time analysing why it is that Mr. Cute&Curly has not responded to me when I left a message on his phone on Tuesday night. That's more than 36 hours ago! We had done a bit of texting to and fro during the day on Tuesday, but nothing since I actually left my voice on his machine.......hhmmmm maybe I should have had those elocution lessons as a child!

I've been tagged!

So here we go....

1. I started off as a cancerous growth. My mother was told she had a tumour and needed a hysterectomy. Fortunately for me, and hopefully some others in the world, she listened to her body (which I gather was not a particularly easy body to listen to) and suggested to the doctor that she might be pregnant. The result - me!

2. I've spent a night in a brothel. I was about 4 years of age and was with my family. Apparently we were in Frankfurt and booked into an hotel that my father could see from where we were driving, but kept coming up against one way streets. He was getting so frustrated that when he came across a building that had a plaque with the Union Jack on it, he thought that should be suitable. Went inside to ask if they had a room for the night. When he got the affirmative he came out and got the family. I think reception were more than a little surprised when he walked back in with a wife and two small boys. Apparently it was clean but basic. Mum didn't sleep a wink, and not because of all the door banging and other nocturnal noises that could be heard. We left soon after daybreak.

3. As a child I loved vegemite and apricot jam sandwiches - yep, together in the one sandwich!

4. I'm a guy who doesn't really have favourites. I guess I don't like to be hemmed in, but one of the films that is up there for me is "Dead Poets' Society". I cried both times I saw it, especially the second time when I was on my own in my own living room. I like it even though it has Robin Williams in it. I think I have been eternally scarred by 'Mork & Mindy'.

5. When I left school I began a Business degree which I didn't complete. If I had my time over again I would do Arts and major in history. Don't know that it would have got me anywhere, but I would have enjoyed it.

6. One day I want to go back to the village in China where my mother was born and my grandmother is buried. It was pre-communisim so may not exist anymore.

7. In my late 20s I had viral meningitis and was hospitalised for a few days. Staff kept telling me it was as painful as bacterial meningitis, just didn't have the potential to be fatal. It certainly wasn't fun!

8. I think I'm becoming addicted to yoga - and not because of the class mates!!


I feel like this is one of those emails you get that tells you if you don't pass this on to 20 people within 24 hours some horror will befall you. Well I'm going to risk it and not tag others - but it was fun to do, thanks Nash.

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World.....

Generally speaking Melbourne is big enough for me. Occasionally however, it manifests some traits of a decidedly small country town (read village for northern hemisphere readers). Last night I received a text from FB which went something like:
FB: Hi how’s your day been?
Me: Good, fairly quiet, did some Mother’s Day stuff. You?
FB: Yeah, same. Do you do yoga?
Me; Yes
FB: Where?
Me: (I explain that I do it twice a week in different places but with the same instructor on Mondays and Wednesdays). Is this leading anywhere?
Long break in texting for about half an hour. My curiosity is roused so I send another text
Me: Wondering what the silence denotes.
FB: Sorry – I was speaking to someone who does Mondays class and spoke of Campbell and wondering if it was you.
Now my name (not Campbell!) is not the most uncommon name on the face of the earth, so wasn’t entirely sure it was still the same class so:
Me: So is it the same class? Who was it? Did they say I was cute and handsome and imagine I would be great in bed?
FB: Mr Cute&Curly.
Things are starting to feel a little more weird at this stage.
Me: How do you know him? (I’m not entirely sure that I really want to know this but I ask it anyway) & you didn’t answer my other questions!
Another long gap in texting. It is now getting quite late so I decided to leave it for now and pursue it in the morning. After a while though another text comes through with apologies for a stuffed keypad but basically says
FB: A friend, will explain tomorrow and didn’t speak re your sexiness.

So how does this leave me overnight? So someone I’m interested in getting to know better with a view to whatever might come along knows my FB!! This is very weird. My imagination starts to go off on all sorts of tangents. FB is not a particularly ‘out’ person, so it is interesting that someone he knows is inviting him to a gay men’s yoga class! How do they know each other? Do they have a similar relationship to FB and me? Questions, questions!! I try to focus on the positives: Mr. C&C remembers my name and remembers some of the content of our conversation, such as where I live.

FB actually rang this morning (a very rare occurrence) but I wasn’t able to take the call so he left a message saying Mr C&C was a friend he was speaking to who was trying to convince him to come to yoga with him. FB started asking questions about the class and participants and Mr C&C mentioned a guy he’s been chatting to by my name and he also mentioned where I live. FB said I know someone by that name who lives there, I wonder if it’s the same person – hence the text query. FB says that he won't be going to yoga - but that's not because of me he assures. FB ended the message with enjoy yoga tonight and say Hi to Mr C&C for me. So he’s spoken openly about me – although I don’t know how openly!


Anyway I go to yoga tonight and Mr. C&C pretty quickly comments on the smallness of the world prior to the class. Afterwards we are chatting outside and he mentions
various things that FB had mentioned about me as a way of prolonging the
conversation. I ask if he wants to go and have a drink. He says he's
unable to as he's meeting a friend for dinner, but perhaps next week.
We chat for a bit more, then he says 'Knowing I was going to have to
run off tonight I thought I'd give you my card, (he hands over said
item). Give me a call sometime.'

I'm taking this all as a good sign - we might talk in more depth about FB later, but at the moment it's all good, if not a little weird!

The World as Home

I had a drink last night with a woman who has
recently emigrated to Australia from the UK. She is a friend of a
friend who asked if I would contact her as she's feeling a little
lonely in Melbourne. I do have to admit, this was a change from my
recentGaydar dates!! Anyway, this woman came out to Australia knowing
less than a handful of people. She has spent the last 8 years in the UK
and a year in Switzerland. She was born and bred in South Africa. It's
fascinating the way some people are able to just pick up and move their
lives half way around the world. I imagine it's a big enough adjustment
if you're doing it to follow a partner or a job, but to make such a
move with no such motivation, no such promise of anything in
particular, is a leap of faith.
I admire her and others who make
such moves. I often think I would like to live elsewhere, just for the
experience of it. I mean live somewhere else with no plans of it
necessarily being temporary. I couldn't do that while my son is still
dependant and I don't think I could do that while my parents are still
alive. They're not dependant on me at all, but they are getting to that
age where anything could happen and my only other sibling is on the
other side of the country. Maybe I use these reasons as excuses and
when the time comes that I don't have those sort of commitments I may
not actually act on this fantasy. I guess time will tell.
Briefly
back to last night. If I hadn't organised drinks with Miss South Africa
via UK via Switzerland, I may well have had a drink with Mr Cute&Curly from yoga. We stood chatting very comfortably
outside for quite a while. He asked me if I was on my way home, so I
can only imagine what may have happened had I not had a previous
engagement. Methinks I will have nothing planned for after yoga next
week!

What's Your Tipple?

So how do you start your day - and I'm not referring to THAT! Are you a tea in the morning person or a must have my coffee to start the day being? Much as I love a good coffee, if I'm having one before 10am., it's an indication that the day is not going well. I start my day with Green Tea. Green Tea has the benefit of having more caffeine that normal tea, but less than coffee. After being offered a green tea and ginger t bag one day, I thought I can create this, so I started grating fresh ginger in with my green tea in the morning. I recently was offered a green tea with ginger and lemon t bag and again I thought, I can do this. I initially tried squeezing some lemon juice into my tea in the morning. I found this too strong, so I have now started harvesting (with permission of course) my neighbours lemongrass in the morning to add to the pot. So I now have a pot of Green Tea with freshly grated ginger and freshly harvested lemongrass to start my day. Not only does it taste fantastic, the very thought of it makes me healthier!

Love.....Luv....Luurrvv

This entry has been inspired by a comment on a previous entry by Nash over at Drift. He asked: I wonder if things have changed with the F/B now you're dating other guys? Have you told him? Does it make a difference to you or him? Your readers are curious!
I have wondered how I would go about FB if and when (let's be positive!) I have a partner. Being into the ideal of monogamy, it would have to end. This would be a loss for me and hence would bring about grief. The loss would not be about the sex with him (although that is pretty damn good and would take some beating!!) but about my relationship with him. 'Cause lets face it - I do love the man....I'm not 'in love' with him (after much work on my part early on!), but I do love him. We connect on more than a physical level when we're together.
I often think about love and what it really is - I can't think about it for too long, otherwise my head starts to hurt! I mean there are so many components to love and types of love - you can love your Grandma, your cat, chocolate and sex and they would all mean something different. I'm sure if you asked ten people to define/describe love involved with an intimate partner, you'd get ten different answers. There's love when your heart beats irregularly and your mind is addled, there's love that is the warmth of familiarity, there's love that is challenge and growth.............Is it possible to find these different aspects of love in one relationship? I have experienced the love that makes my heart beat irregularly and addles my mind, but only on a short term basis with someone who is bigger in my fantasy life than my real life. Is that love or is it lust? Can I expect to feel that on a long term basis?
My head is beginning to hurt!
Any thoughts to add to my headache gratefully received.
btw - No I haven't told FB I'm dating other guys.