What do these have in common? Nothing really, but I got to thinking of them both after my son's tennis match on Friday night which is why I mention them together, no other reason.
Son is now playing in A grade and they pretty much run the games themselves. They umpire themselves and they resolve their own disputes. There is no coaching or involvement from parents allowed. One of our players had his father on the sidelines on Friday night. The player is of Middle Eastern extraction and when his father spoke, it was in his own language. A couple of our parents were beginning to think it wasn't a particularly good look from where we were sitting, that what was happening could be construed in various ways. The team manager of the other team soon came over to us and commented on what looked like was happening. He said he didn't want us to say anything to him on the night because "I know what these people are like. He'll blow up if you challenge him and I don't want any conflict".
I felt ashamed that I didn't challenge his notion of why he thought the other parent would 'blow up' based purely on what he looked like and the type of language he was speaking.
On a totally different level, one of the other parents on our team is a very good looking man. He may well not yet be 40, has a very open face with beautiful dark eyes. He also has that silvery grey hair that can add to the handsome look on younger men. It is beautiful. thick and wavy.
I'm convinced he's going through a mid life crisis, as he's gone and had it dyed!!!! He still has his beautiful. open face, but the overall look is just not quite the same. Hopefully this crisis will be short-lived.
6 comments:
Hi Campbell,
Unfortunately, the racial profiling you witnessed Friday evening is no doubt something that’s going to be with us for a long time to come. People are not as trusting or complacent as they were before September 11th, 2001. Terrorist acts have caused us to look slightly askance at anyone who’s “different” from ourselves, which is a shame. The days of innocent acceptance are probably kaput for ever.
My manicurist is Iranian but prefers to “mask” it from the majority of her clientele, who believe she’s of Hispanic origin because of her dark hair, eyes, and somewhat heavy accent. When asked directly what her nationality is, she replies “Persian”, because a great many of her customers are clueless that she’s using the old name for Iran. It’s her method of coping with the profiling…
Maybe men aren’t buying into the “distinguished gray hair” notion these days like they use to. A lot of women (me included!) feel it necessary to color their hair to hide the tell tale signs of aging. Do you think you’d have known this gentleman was dying his hair if you hadn’t seen the “silver fox” look in the past? Perhaps when he realizes the upkeep his new “do” is going to be, he’ll go back to au naturale.
Congratulations to your son for playing in the Grade A tennis matches! Hopefully he and his teammates will show the adults that it’s okay to accept someone who’s “different” because he’s not…we’re all human beings in assorted packages.
Damn, salt n' pepper hair is SEXY! No man should dye!!!!
yeah - go the salt'n'pepper - mine is so it just MUST be fashionable !
Hope tennis goes calmly, Campbell.
What the hell was Silver hair doing???????? What he needs to do to cope with his mid-life crisis is go out and pick up some available guy...say someone like, well, YOU! he he he! ;-)
Cambell - you would be in the minority if you had stood up to the coach or made a comment. No one does.. its just accepted as the sign of the times.
Admittedly I dont think the Middle Eastern gentleman should have been speaking in any language other than that of the host nation. Immigrants should blend in ... why move to a country if you are not going to accept its norms, its laws etc.. of course one can be different - we are not clones but surely within the confines of that nation and one does not have to give up everything. Surely integration is the way forward and clinging to your old lanugauage in public does not engender closer relations with the host nation and the host folk.
Being an immigrant myself and having suffered racism at school, a physical beating on the street and a most recently a stop & search by the Police.. I am aware of both sides of the argument. My parents always spoke to us in English, ensured we integrated to a certain extent (a whole post on this is required) - by and large it is about acceptance. They made the choice to move to the UK so they made sure we fitted.
The flip side is the racial profiling...which fcuks me right off...after all that damn trying to fit in, English accents etc we are now not going to be accepted or we are to be looked upon with suspicion. The countless number of times my passport has been thumbed and my white partner been waved through is ridicilous. For CH could be a muslim convert who has decided to blow up all of London... Racial profiling is a dangerous game. One that has been unleashed by Osama, Bush and Blair. People - please stand up for your coloured friends when this happens (assuming of course you trust them not to be a terrorist :-))
Apologies for the long response.
Miss L., I wonder if things have changed that much since 9/11, in that I wonder if people's thinking has changed or people are now just articulating what they have thought before, but was not PC to verbalise.
You're right, I'm sure I would not have thought twice about it if I hadn't see the silver hair previously. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss.
Ek and Tomcat, this mop was pure silver - no pepper in it.
Monty, I don't know that your suggestion is necessarily right for this particular guy, although it might help him know what his crisis is NOT about!?!?
Cutectguy, No apologies necessary for the long, yet balanced response. As a member of the racial majority in my land I can only imagine what it is like to be profiled based on the colour of my skin or the language I speak. It is different from something like sexuality which is easier to mask. Unfortunately I think this is largely human nature and won't largely change. Then again I could be a cynic and not have enough faith in human nature. Here's hoping!
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