It’s been a busy week this week as I've done a couple of extra shifts at the Nursing Home. I have taken some time out however to remember an anniversary. Ten years ago, around this time, I came out as a gay man.
It started off with coming out to myself. This occurred during the watching of the movie ‘In & Out’ whilst sitting next to my then wife. Sounds weird, I know, but a story with some complexity which I might tell you about one day.
Very soon after that, a number of days from memory, I told the minister of the church I was attending at the time. He was very supportive and someone I will never forget and will always be grateful to.
Within another short period of time, perhaps a couple of weeks, I told my wife. This happened sooner than I had expected, again for complex reasons, which you may learn about in time if I feel I need to go into the detail. I use this experience as the benchmark for the hardest thing I have ever done. People have described me as brave for doing this, but the truth is I had got to the point where I felt I had no choice.
Then followed other family and friends. From hearing others’ stories of coming out, I had a very positive experience.
Ten years on, I can look back and know that I did the right thing. Being honest about and accepting my sexuality has allowed me to be more honest about other parts of my life as well.
I feel very fortunate. I have a son of whom I am proud and with whom I feel I have a positive relationship, I am still good friends with my ex-wife and I now find myself in a relationship that challenges and excites me. Even though this relationship is over 12 months strong, I still feel like a love struck teenager at times. I was telling a friend this and she said, ‘well that’s why you changed your life isn’t it’, meaning that was why I came out. I certainly didn’t think this at the time and if asked, wouldn’t have put it that way, but I know what she means. Part of the coming out was to be able to live in a manner that would enable me to experience life in as full a manner as possible along with all the feelings that go along with that.
I feel I’m getting too deep and tongue tied, so I’m going to finish now by wishing myself a Happy Anniversary.
6 comments:
and happy anniversary from me too
Hi Campbell,
You are fortunate and I admire your courage. Not everyone can be as honest and forthright as you.
Congratulations on 10 years of being OUT and for your successful relationship of over one year!!
Happy Anniversary Campbell... tis an odd feeling for others to say your brave at a time your not feeling so...
I think the braveness is also in making decisions, what ever they are in life, especially those whose concequences are unknown... the bravery is making them so you can remain true to yourself...I think personal integrity is a core value for me and you have shown that...
Im making a big assumption that it wasnt easy (smile)... but you have come out the other side and when you look about you you can think...'Yeah it come out OK'
Good onya mate...luv abz
FANTASTIC! That is a sensational post my friend! Happy Anniversary indeed! Both on coming out AND your relationship milestone! Glad to have been a reader (and a FB friend)...
That last paragraph I could almost cut and paste into my blog (well, except for the son and ex-wife bit) - exactly my feelings!
Big High Five for you! :-)
Thanks guys. It is a significant anniversary!
Monty - it took a while to work out what FB referred to! I'm, assuming you're referring to Facebook?! Or am I missing something?
Ha ha! Facebook indeed! Not the other type of FB!!! I think we're both way too deeply in love with our respective other halves to even be thinking about FB's now! :-)
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