Friendship

The people we were with on New Year's Eve were talking about New Year resolutions and one was to make at least one new friend. I was struck by that. I don't make new friends easily and the thought of being so deliberate about making new friends is something I find foreign. When I think about where I have made friends that last, it has been through church (when I was involved) or through work. So it is in a context of having another reason for connection with someone, an almost 'doing' that occurs alongside the development of a friendship, and this is something that takes time and is certainly not a deliberate act.

My not making friends easily is partly my introverted nature, partly laziness and partly commitment anxiety.

I was talking about this with my man who pointed out that I don't want new friends. There is some truth in that. I'm the kind of guy who has a small number of close friends. I'm aware that I can be intense about friendship. To me I have either friends or acquaintances. Others would talk about different levels of friendship, whereas I tend to be more black and white about it and those that I would call friends are the type of people I know I could call on in times of need.

There is a new PCA at the Nursing Home who is newly arrived in Australia. He came here to study and I think is struggling in various ways - financially and in feeling connected here. He has been very friendly towards me and I'm aware that that creates some anxiety for me as I think he would probably like to become friends with me. I need to just chill and let what happens, happen.

I am aware that most of my friends are older than me, so if I live to a ripe old age, I could be a lonely old man. Maybe I should be more deliberate about cultivating younger friends!!

An interesting thing, friendship, isn't it?